Tuesday, December 23, 2003
I thought about getting her some sexy undies and telling her I would love to see her in it. Something from Victoria Secret. That would do it! A three piece set. And since Mindy is a different size than me the shop girls will know it's for another girl and I'm gay! Another aspect of coming out! Oh hell, I just may say that I'm buying it for my girlfriend!
I bought a deluxe pool cue case for Mandy. She's had her eyes on this one for ages. She's turning me into a nine ball fanatic! I love playing pool and under her tutelage( hmmmm..I'd love to be under her right now!) I'm becoming a pretty good pool player myself.
I got Ashley a DVD burner for her computer that she wanted! I also got her a MAC Cosmetics makeup case with three brushes and eye and lip make up. We're exchanging gifts tonight because she's leaving for home tomorrow! I'm going to miss her !
Mandy is coming over on Christmas Eve and Mindy is coming over Christmas Day. Yeek... I just remembered I can't give Mindy sexy under wear in front of my parents. I'll have to give it to her in secret! Got to get her something else. She loves MAC MV3 Creation fragrance. I'll get that for her as my in front of parents gift!
Monday, December 22, 2003
I've been on two more dates with Mindy and we are getting on quite well together. I haven't seen Ashley in a while because of our work and school schedules. I miss her! And Mandy has been her crazy self but we haven't gone out together recently.
This Christmas shopping season is crazy. People are crazy!!! But I'm learning the bookseller business from the ground up. Mary, My boss is teaching me everything about the business.
Got to go to work! Did anyone miss me! ***POUTS***
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
So what happened Kelly on your dates you say. Well, I made out with three different girls on three consecutive nights. Not sex, but kissing and very heavy petting. All three girls and I were quite aggressive in our dry fucking! When I was with each girl I felt like I couldn't or wouldn't want to be with anyone else. Then the next night the same feeling. Am I bad to feel this way. Should I feel guilty about all of this? I don't know.
And each experience was different. With Mandy it was our bodies entwined in a frenzied grinding into eachother. With Mindy it was delicious kissing and her hands up my sweater fondling my breasts and my hand sliding up her leg into her jeans covered mound. Dry fucking couldn't be any better than this I thought. With Ashley it was an all over body massage that left me delirious and ended with her fingers fucking my ass through my jeans!
Besides all this there was a pool tournament, shopping with Mindy and a movie party that left me feeling all grown up and my birthday party with all three of my girls behaving themselves.
So there you have it! It was a wonderful weekend and I hope I have more of them!
Britney Spears can't stop the questions about her sexual orientation. Came up again on her Korean tour. Me thinks she protests too much!
Come on Brit you know you love to kiss girls! Kiss Me!!!!
Monday, December 08, 2003
They accepted it and were waiting for me to come out to them! I have cool parents who love me and want the best for me. They want to meet my girlfriends and get to know them which is really neat.
Sometimes I feel guilty with the way this is turning out. When so many others are having a hard time with friends and family when they come out, I've had a easy time of it. I've lost a very close friend and two other friends. The rest have accepted me as I am.
I feel so fortunate!
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
I still have Sunday open...lol
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
I was sitting there in the coffee shop reading a book and she came up to me and asked me if I wanted a job. I said hell ya! I told her I was about to turn 16. She said that I could start on Dec. 8th. She told me that she was having trouble with young people showing up to work, but noticed that I spent alot of time there. So she offered me the position.
She's losing a great customer but gaining a wonderful employee!
At the mall she was trying on Dresses at Gadzooks. She asked me to go fetch a larger size. When I got back and opened the dressing room door she was stark raving naked except for a pair of socks. I let out a scream! She goes "This is what your missing tonight!" with a sheepish grin on her face. I have to say she's sexy and beautiful. Not in the skinny model type but the more rounded type back in the fifties like Sofia Loren!
I ran out and told Sara about it . She laughed and said "For God's sakes Kelly just go out with her or we're have to go through this all day!"
So I'm going out with her on Friday night! Now I'm up to dating three girls! My head is spinning!!!
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Mindy ,with Sara and Hannah, is one of my oldest and closest friends. If I go out with her, how would that change the dynamics of our friendship and of the group?
I'm glad that I'm going on a double date with Ashley tonight! At least I have an excuse about why I can't go out with Mind !
Friday, November 28, 2003
Now I have a friend trying to get in bed with me...Help!
Thursday, November 27, 2003
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Ashley is looking for a more committed relationship but wants to keep seeing me. I'm going on a date with her next Saturday. We also talk on the phone almost every night.
So I guess I'll go with the flow and see what happens with the both of them.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
I was never so scared as I was on this night.
I had made plans with Ashley for Sunday. She was taking me to a student film shoot. I was going to help out with the project. I asked Sara if she could call her up and tell her that I couldn't make it.
Sara got a hold of her and told her what had happened to my Dad. She asked Sara how I was taking it. Sara said badly. Ashley told her that she would come on down to be with the both of us if she thought that was all right. Sara knew how I felt about Ashley and said that that would be great if she could come. Sara didn't tell me she was coming.
An hour later, she shows up at the hospital's emergency rooms waiting room. I was surprised. I ran up to her and hugged her and started to cry. She held me in her arms and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I loved having her there with me. She made me laugh by saying that one of these days we're going to get to go on a date together. I laughed as I cried. She stayed all day Sunday with me, Sara and my brothers.
How can I not want to be with this girl. She's an angel!
On Monday he was taken to the cath lab where they found that his Left Coronary Artery was blocked 80 to 90 percent. They did a angioplasty and put in a stent.
He's out of the hospital and doing find.
He was so upset with the death of his brother that he had this heart attack. The Doctor's said that he was lucky that he had a small heart attack now and not a big one later. They said they were glad that it showed up this way.
My Dad thinks that his big brother was watching over him. Me Too!
Thursday, November 06, 2003
I waited a very long 45 minutes and she finally arrived. She was as beautiful as I had thought she would be when I had seen her for the first time with no makeup and in her work clothes. She was gorgeous in a all black outfit, her long black hair falling down around left shoulder and her pale smooth skin wearing a wisp of makeup.
I knew that this would be the girl who could have me in a wink of an eye. I wanted her too!
I know your going to say what about Mandy. I'm attracted to Mandy and love going out with her. I love her free spirit and her sense of humor. I care about her. But the attraction I have for Ashley is something else.
Ashley and I decided to go to a Japanese restaurant that has a lunch sushi special. We sat there drank green tea, ate sushi, talked and just looked into eachothers eyes. I wanted her to kiss me right there in front of everybody. I didn't care. I wanted her that much.
She's a wonderful conversationalist and we like so many of the same things that we seem so utterly right for eachother. So now I'm attracted to two girls. Ashley and Mandy. Two girls with different personalities and different qualities.
What I'm I going to do about Mandy? How do I tell her that I want to date another girl too?
In this dream I'm walking through a field of tall grass. It starts to rain. It's a warm summer's rain that gently soaks my hair and clothes. Everything is silent except for the sound of the falling rain. I keep walking through the grass and rain, until I come upon a clearing where there is sunshine and no rain. I walk through the final curtain of rain into the clearing. My hair and clothes start to dry leaving only two tracks of tears running down my face. I then see my grandmother sitting on a blanket. I walk over to her.
She asks me why am I crying. I tell her because she's gone and I love and miss her so much. I lay my head in her lap. She caresses my face and strokes my hair.
She tells me not to cry and to be happy for her that she's no longer in pain. I try, but the two streams of tears keep running down my face. I ask her how long we can stay here together. She says until my pain goes away.
We stay there together just listening to the sound of the gentle rain.
For those of you in the Chicago area, tonight is the kick off of The Lesbian and Gay International Film Festival. It's the second oldest lesbian /Gay film festival of it's kind. Check it out. Sounds like a lot of fun. It runs from Nov.6 to the 13th. Hope you can attend.
Friday, October 31, 2003
He's my Dad's older brother. He had kidney cancer 12 years ago and last year he got it again. It kept showing up in his body. This time it was in his pancreas. He had an operation and when he came out of it, his kidney failed and his potassium level shot up. They couldn't stabilize him. His heart kept on stopping and then he was gone. It was suppose to be a simple routine operation that turned tragic. A life ended at 59.
He was a cool guy that I loved very much. He was a professional poker player who lived in Las Vegas. He taught me how to play the game. I'm very good at it. He didn't have kids of his own. So he always called me his adopted daughter.
We're leaving for Las Vegas this afternoon to be with his wife Jan.
Sleep well my sweet Prince....I'll miss you and love you forever!
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
I'm not into the whole suicide, death and fuck the world thingy . But the look is hot and gets me so hot!
I went to the pizza buffet with my family and our drink server and plate picker upper was a goth girl. She had long straight black hair and white alabaster skin. She was downplaying her gothness for the job. But I could tell she was a goth. She had that sexy aloof attitude. She asked us if we wanted a special pizza. If we did just ask her and she would get it for us. Hmmm...special pizza! So I asked for a goat cheese, portobella mushroom, shalots, sun dried tomato pizza just to see what she would say. She cracked a smile and said no one had ever asked for that before. They didn't have the ingrediants ,so could I think of something else? Something else? I had her hooked and I wasn't about to let her go! So I said how about a baby bok choy, straw mushrooms,tofu pizza? She laughed and said that wouldn't work either and gave me a big smile. I smiled back into her big brown eyes! My Dad said leave the poor girl alone and let her do her job. I stuck my toung out at my Dad.
She told me to keep on trying and that she would be back. Yes I'll keep on trying until your mine, I thought!!!
As she walked away I just looked her over and then she gave me one of those backward over the shoulder glances with her long jet black hair flinging about in a sensual slow motion arc! Now I was hooked!
As she went about her duties at the other tables, she would keep glancing over to our table trying not to act like she was looking, but she was looking at me as I was looking at her.
Story interruptis!!! My Mom is bitching at me to get of the computer
Saturday, October 25, 2003
Friday, October 24, 2003
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Is Tarentino a feminist? Kill Bill contains what I think is the single most brilliant statement of male violence against women. In the opening shot we start with a black screen and hear the rapid deep breathing of a woman. Is it the sound of a woman having sex or in distress. It could go both ways. Then we're given the image of a blood splattered and beaten Uma Thurman. A horrible, frightening image. Then we meet Bill. We don't see him. Only hear him. His callus disregard for her and his mocking attitude here stands for all the boyfriends and husbands who beat their girlfriends and wives. It's brilliant. But will the legion of boys and young men who love this film for it's violence get it? I don't think so.
But it's a mess. I don't think that his non- linear style works as well here as in Pulp Fiction. It feels too choppy. Where is all the great dialogue? It's missing. It makes one think about the contribution of Roger Avery to Tarentino's early films. Kill Bill makes Tarentino look like a bad screenwriter without Avery. I'm sure this will set off a revaluation of Tarentino's career.
This is a film that is about style over content, with one great moment of content in it. Let's Hope that Kill Bill vol. 2 has more moments like the opening of Kill Bill vol.1