Saturday, November 29, 2003

Mindy and The Email 

I woke up this morning to find an ecard from Mindy in my email. It was from shecards...A lesbian online card service. The picture was of two women lying in bed in eachothers arms. The note was a highly suggestive. It was about what we could do for and to eachother! I have to admit it got me hot! Then she asked me to give her a chance! At least go out with her on a date alone just one time! I had planned to go out to lunch and shopping with her,Sara and Hannah this afternoon. She said that we can talk about it then!

Mindy ,with Sara and Hannah, is one of my oldest and closest friends. If I go out with her, how would that change the dynamics of our friendship and of the group?

I'm glad that I'm going on a double date with Ashley tonight! At least I have an excuse about why I can't go out with Mind !
  • Friday, November 28, 2003

    I'm Not a Lab Rat! 

    Mindy finally broke up with her abusive boyfriend Roger. Good riddance. Mindy now wants to start to explore her bisexuality. She says that I was so brave with coming out to all my friends. Now she wants to experiment. The only trouble is she wants to experiment with me!!! I told her no way... but politely. I told her that she'll have to find someone else for her exploration. We've been friends too long to jeopardize our friendship with eachother.

    Now I have a friend trying to get in bed with me...Help!
  • Thursday, November 27, 2003

    My Sixteenth Birthday Party 

    I was thinking of inviting both Mandy and Ashley to it. But now I don't know. Things are heating up with Ashley and cooling down with Mandy. I never thought I would have these kinds of decisions to make. Never dreamed that little old me would be dating two girls at the same time.

  • Wednesday, November 26, 2003


    Ashley called and wanted to know if I would like to double date with another lesbian couple. I said "another couple?" "That means we're a couple" I asked. She said "Yes, I think we are. I hope we are! What do you say about it?" "Yes, we're a couple!" I said.
  • Tuesday, November 25, 2003

    My Date with Ashley 

    It went great! She took me out to dinner at Outback Steakhouse. We then went to a gallery opening and then to a party. We talk all night about everything. At the party she took me off to a quite corner and we kissed! I mean passionately. She gently rubbed me down below while our tongues danced in eachothers mouths. That was the first time that a girl had touched me like that. I want to be touched like that again. But the night ended too soon. My damn curfew!
  • Sunday, November 16, 2003

    Mandy and Ashley 

    I had a long talk with Mandy about my feelings about girls and dating. She's going off to college next year and agrees with me about keeping our relationship open. We'll play it by ear and see what happens.

    Ashley is looking for a more committed relationship but wants to keep seeing me. I'm going on a date with her next Saturday. We also talk on the phone almost every night.

    So I guess I'll go with the flow and see what happens with the both of them.
  • Wednesday, November 12, 2003

    Sara and Ashley  

    When they took my Dad away in the ambulance, I was so sacred that this was it. That I would never see him again. I started to cry uncontrollably. My best friend Sara was spending the night at my house. She went with me and my family to the hospital and stayed with us. She's always been there for me no matter what happens. She helped to calm me down but I was a nervous wreak. One week I lose an uncle and then this happens to my Dad.

    I was never so scared as I was on this night.

    I had made plans with Ashley for Sunday. She was taking me to a student film shoot. I was going to help out with the project. I asked Sara if she could call her up and tell her that I couldn't make it.

    Sara got a hold of her and told her what had happened to my Dad. She asked Sara how I was taking it. Sara said badly. Ashley told her that she would come on down to be with the both of us if she thought that was all right. Sara knew how I felt about Ashley and said that that would be great if she could come. Sara didn't tell me she was coming.

    An hour later, she shows up at the hospital's emergency rooms waiting room. I was surprised. I ran up to her and hugged her and started to cry. She held me in her arms and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I loved having her there with me. She made me laugh by saying that one of these days we're going to get to go on a date together. I laughed as I cried. She stayed all day Sunday with me, Sara and my brothers.

    How can I not want to be with this girl. She's an angel!
  • My Dad 

    I haven't been online because my Dad had a heart attack on Saturday night. He went in at 9:00pm and was diagnosed as having a mild heart attack.

    On Monday he was taken to the cath lab where they found that his Left Coronary Artery was blocked 80 to 90 percent. They did a angioplasty and put in a stent.

    He's out of the hospital and doing find.

    He was so upset with the death of his brother that he had this heart attack. The Doctor's said that he was lucky that he had a small heart attack now and not a big one later. They said they were glad that it showed up this way.

    My Dad thinks that his big brother was watching over him. Me Too!
  • Thursday, November 06, 2003

    Desiring Ashley 

    My family and I got back from Las Vegas on Thursday morning. I had several messages from Ashley on our phone. I only had one from Mandy. I knew that Mandy was in school, so I called Ashley hoping to catch her in her dorm room. She wasn't there. I left a message on her voicemail hoping for a return call. An hour later she called me back and asked if I had lunch yet. I said no and she said that she would come over to pick me up in 45 minutes. I couldn't wait to see her. We had talked on the phone and instant messaged eachother, but hadn't seen eachother since the pizza parlor.

    I waited a very long 45 minutes and she finally arrived. She was as beautiful as I had thought she would be when I had seen her for the first time with no makeup and in her work clothes. She was gorgeous in a all black outfit, her long black hair falling down around left shoulder and her pale smooth skin wearing a wisp of makeup.

    I knew that this would be the girl who could have me in a wink of an eye. I wanted her too!

    I know your going to say what about Mandy. I'm attracted to Mandy and love going out with her. I love her free spirit and her sense of humor. I care about her. But the attraction I have for Ashley is something else.

    Ashley and I decided to go to a Japanese restaurant that has a lunch sushi special. We sat there drank green tea, ate sushi, talked and just looked into eachothers eyes. I wanted her to kiss me right there in front of everybody. I didn't care. I wanted her that much.

    She's a wonderful conversationalist and we like so many of the same things that we seem so utterly right for eachother. So now I'm attracted to two girls. Ashley and Mandy. Two girls with different personalities and different qualities.

    What I'm I going to do about Mandy? How do I tell her that I want to date another girl too?
  • The Dream 

    I have this recurring dream that started after the death of my Grandmother Elaine last year. I didn't have this dream for awhile. But with the death of my Uncle Go Go , the dream came back to me!

    In this dream I'm walking through a field of tall grass. It starts to rain. It's a warm summer's rain that gently soaks my hair and clothes. Everything is silent except for the sound of the falling rain. I keep walking through the grass and rain, until I come upon a clearing where there is sunshine and no rain. I walk through the final curtain of rain into the clearing. My hair and clothes start to dry leaving only two tracks of tears running down my face. I then see my grandmother sitting on a blanket. I walk over to her.

    She asks me why am I crying. I tell her because she's gone and I love and miss her so much. I lay my head in her lap. She caresses my face and strokes my hair.

    She tells me not to cry and to be happy for her that she's no longer in pain. I try, but the two streams of tears keep running down my face. I ask her how long we can stay here together. She says until my pain goes away.

    We stay there together just listening to the sound of the gentle rain.
  • The Reeling Film Festival 

    The Reeling Film Festival

    For those of you in the Chicago area, tonight is the kick off of The Lesbian and Gay International Film Festival. It's the second oldest lesbian /Gay film festival of it's kind. Check it out. Sounds like a lot of fun. It runs from Nov.6 to the 13th. Hope you can attend.
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    Kelly/Female/16-20. Lives in United States/NoWhere, speaks English. Eye color is hazel. I am a babe. I am also ambitious. My interests are Filmmaking /Iaido.
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