Saturday, November 29, 2003
Mindy ,with Sara and Hannah, is one of my oldest and closest friends. If I go out with her, how would that change the dynamics of our friendship and of the group?
I'm glad that I'm going on a double date with Ashley tonight! At least I have an excuse about why I can't go out with Mind !
Friday, November 28, 2003
Now I have a friend trying to get in bed with me...Help!
Thursday, November 27, 2003
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Ashley is looking for a more committed relationship but wants to keep seeing me. I'm going on a date with her next Saturday. We also talk on the phone almost every night.
So I guess I'll go with the flow and see what happens with the both of them.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
I was never so scared as I was on this night.
I had made plans with Ashley for Sunday. She was taking me to a student film shoot. I was going to help out with the project. I asked Sara if she could call her up and tell her that I couldn't make it.
Sara got a hold of her and told her what had happened to my Dad. She asked Sara how I was taking it. Sara said badly. Ashley told her that she would come on down to be with the both of us if she thought that was all right. Sara knew how I felt about Ashley and said that that would be great if she could come. Sara didn't tell me she was coming.
An hour later, she shows up at the hospital's emergency rooms waiting room. I was surprised. I ran up to her and hugged her and started to cry. She held me in her arms and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I loved having her there with me. She made me laugh by saying that one of these days we're going to get to go on a date together. I laughed as I cried. She stayed all day Sunday with me, Sara and my brothers.
How can I not want to be with this girl. She's an angel!
On Monday he was taken to the cath lab where they found that his Left Coronary Artery was blocked 80 to 90 percent. They did a angioplasty and put in a stent.
He's out of the hospital and doing find.
He was so upset with the death of his brother that he had this heart attack. The Doctor's said that he was lucky that he had a small heart attack now and not a big one later. They said they were glad that it showed up this way.
My Dad thinks that his big brother was watching over him. Me Too!
Thursday, November 06, 2003
I waited a very long 45 minutes and she finally arrived. She was as beautiful as I had thought she would be when I had seen her for the first time with no makeup and in her work clothes. She was gorgeous in a all black outfit, her long black hair falling down around left shoulder and her pale smooth skin wearing a wisp of makeup.
I knew that this would be the girl who could have me in a wink of an eye. I wanted her too!
I know your going to say what about Mandy. I'm attracted to Mandy and love going out with her. I love her free spirit and her sense of humor. I care about her. But the attraction I have for Ashley is something else.
Ashley and I decided to go to a Japanese restaurant that has a lunch sushi special. We sat there drank green tea, ate sushi, talked and just looked into eachothers eyes. I wanted her to kiss me right there in front of everybody. I didn't care. I wanted her that much.
She's a wonderful conversationalist and we like so many of the same things that we seem so utterly right for eachother. So now I'm attracted to two girls. Ashley and Mandy. Two girls with different personalities and different qualities.
What I'm I going to do about Mandy? How do I tell her that I want to date another girl too?
In this dream I'm walking through a field of tall grass. It starts to rain. It's a warm summer's rain that gently soaks my hair and clothes. Everything is silent except for the sound of the falling rain. I keep walking through the grass and rain, until I come upon a clearing where there is sunshine and no rain. I walk through the final curtain of rain into the clearing. My hair and clothes start to dry leaving only two tracks of tears running down my face. I then see my grandmother sitting on a blanket. I walk over to her.
She asks me why am I crying. I tell her because she's gone and I love and miss her so much. I lay my head in her lap. She caresses my face and strokes my hair.
She tells me not to cry and to be happy for her that she's no longer in pain. I try, but the two streams of tears keep running down my face. I ask her how long we can stay here together. She says until my pain goes away.
We stay there together just listening to the sound of the gentle rain.
For those of you in the Chicago area, tonight is the kick off of The Lesbian and Gay International Film Festival. It's the second oldest lesbian /Gay film festival of it's kind. Check it out. Sounds like a lot of fun. It runs from Nov.6 to the 13th. Hope you can attend.